{"id":53,"date":"2014-01-14T23:24:07","date_gmt":"2014-01-14T23:24:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.turningplanet.org\/blog\/?p=53"},"modified":"2014-01-15T22:12:57","modified_gmt":"2014-01-15T22:12:57","slug":"i-cant-be-a-hip-mama-because","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.turningplanet.org\/blog\/i-cant-be-a-hip-mama-because\/","title":{"rendered":"I can’t be a Hip Mama because…."},"content":{"rendered":"

I read on Facebook a few days ago that Hip Mama<\/em><\/a> is relaunching in print, and since then my finger has been hesitating over the key that would let me subscribe.\u00a0 Then, to top it off, I was invited by Dani Burlison<\/a> to the North Bay\u2019s Hip Mama\/Rad Dad<\/em> relaunch party.\u00a0 Am I dreaming? I mean, I did just read a book by Ariel Gore, but it wasn\u2019t The Hip Mama Survival Guide<\/em><\/a>. And I\u2019ve heard about the zine (zine?) for years, from all the mamas around me who seem really, truly hip.\u00a0 But me? Hip mama?<\/p>\n

Someone in my Zen community recently ran an exercise in her zendo called \u201cI can\u2019t be a Buddha because\u2026.\u201d, in which everyone said why they felt they couldn\u2019t possibly be a Buddha, and everyone else proceeded to explain, in a clear and unscripted way, why they were not at all disqualified.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t be a Hip Mama because\u2026.<\/p>\n

I have no great hopes of anyone answering this post with a clear explanation of my hipness. I know that the hodgepodge of impulsive ways I finish this sentence will be more about my own delusions than about hipness itself.\u00a0 But the words \u201cI can\u2019t be a Hip Mama because\u2026\u201d have been ringing through my head for days now. I can\u2019t take it anymore.\u00a0 So here I go.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t be a Hip Mama because:<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0I have never actually read Hip Mama<\/em>.
\n\u2022 I live in the country, but my family still eats packaged food.
\n\u2022 I spend a lot of time in my car (but okay, I know, it happens to be electric).
\n\u2022\u00a0I wear fleece. And clogs.
\n\u2022\u00a0I only own one pair of skinny jeans, and the knees are fading because I wear them so desperately much.
\n\u2022\u00a0I am not a single mama.
\n\u2022 The words \u201csex-positive\u201d still make my recovering Catholic skin slightly crawl.
\n\u2022\u00a0I am pop-culturally illiterate.
\n\u2022\u00a0I have never heard Coldplay, or would not know it if I had. I am still listening to Morcheeba and Macy Gray. And Coldplay is probably not hip. Jesus. Is the Thievery Corporation still hip?
\n\u2022\u00a0My children know more about hawks than about Harry Potter.
\n\u2022\u00a0I have no tattoos.
\n\u2022\u00a0You might call me a religious person, except that I don\u2019t consider my strand of Zen<\/a> a religion. But I am rather disciplined (though never, I hope, devout).
\n\u2022\u00a0I read haiku and history instead of listening to Radiolab or The Moth.
\n\u2022 I have never experienced real poverty.
\n\u2022\u00a0I am too old.
\n\u2022\u00a0I sometimes secretly wish I wasn\u2019t a mama at all. Only sometimes. Honest.
\n\u2022\u00a0Until recently I was not sure how to pronounce \u201czine.\u201d
\n\u2022\u00a0I might not go to the Hip Mama\/Rad Dad<\/em> relaunch party because it\u2019s the night of my son\u2019s 4th birthday.
\n\u2022\u00a0And I worry about being hip. Only sometimes. Honest.<\/p>\n

Okay, with my fleece-wearing, bird-watching, middle-class soul exposed, it’s time to subscribe. Click<\/a>. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I read on Facebook a few days ago that Hip Mama is relaunching in print, and since then my finger has been hesitating over the key that would let me subscribe.\u00a0 Then, to top it off, I was invited by Dani Burlison to the North Bay\u2019s Hip Mama\/Rad Dad relaunch party.\u00a0 Am I dreaming? I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-53","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-motherhood","category-writing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4goq1-R","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.turningplanet.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.turningplanet.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.turningplanet.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.turningplanet.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.turningplanet.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=53"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/www.turningplanet.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":81,"href":"http:\/\/www.turningplanet.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53\/revisions\/81"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.turningplanet.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=53"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.turningplanet.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=53"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.turningplanet.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=53"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}